Serenity
by Gijinka Renamon
Summary: After that fateful duel, Yami thinks about what he's done.


Serenity

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Godsmack's song "Serenity." (And don't flame me if I got the lyrics wrong, ok?)

WARNING: Big heapin' spoilers alert!

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What have I done?! Yugi's soul is gone, and it's all my fault!

_As I sit here and slowly close my eyes  
I take another deep breath  
and feel the wind pass through my body  
I'm the one in your soul  
reflecting the light  
Protect the ones who hold you  
Cradling your inner child_

"Pharaoh, I know you're still pretty broken up about Yugi . . . but you can't go on like this forever!"

Tea's words mean nothing to me . . . me, the pharaoh who could have caused the destruction of Egypt 5,000 years ago!

_It's serenity  
in a place where I can hide  
I need serenity  
Nothing changes, days go by_

Why?! Why in God's name did I use that evil card!? Yugi knew it was evil, he tried to warn me . . . but . . . I was to full of myself to pay attention . . . and Yugi paid for _my _mistake with his soul!

Yugi . . . you brave little fool . . . why did you sacrifice your own soul for mine, after all I've done? I'm nothing but a monster . . . an evil being that puts my own needs in front of others . . .

_Where do we go when we just don't know  
And how do we relight the flame when its cold  
Why do we dream when I thought mean nothing  
And when will we learn to control  
_

I turn to face a mirror, and turn away again. After that horrible duel, I suddenly can't bear to see my face in a mirror. Why can't I look? Am I afraid of what I'll see? A hideous monster with cold violet eyes set into an emotionless face?

I pull out my deck, and then let the cards slip out of my hand and onto the floor. I don't deserve my . . . no . . . Yugi's . . . grandfather's deck. The monsters are no longer my friends.

Once upon a time they were innocent beings with pure souls, but now my greed and ambition corrupted them into horrible, malevolent creatures.

_Tragic visions slowly stole my life  
Tore away everything  
cheating me out of my time  
I'm the one who loves you  
_

I have no choice. I must run far, far away, to where no one will ever find me. That way, I won't hurt anyone anymore. As I head towards the door, Rebecca stops me.

_No matter wrong or right  
and every day I hold you  
I hold you with my inner child_

"Yugi? Where are you going?"

I fight back the urge to cry. She still believes I'm Yugi . . . ah, the innocence of youth . . .

"I'm going away," I tell her and the others. "And I'm never coming back."

"What!? Why?!"

"Yugi's gone because of me, and if I stay here, someone else may get hurt."

"But Pharaoh . . ." I raise my hand to silence Joey's protest.

_It's serenity  
in a place where I can hide  
I need serenity  
Nothing changes, days go by  
_

"I'm leaving, and that's all there is to it." I say, as I head towards the door again.

Suddenly, Joey grabs me by the shoulder, and slams me against the wall.

"Now listen here, dammnit! Yugi wouldn't like to see you beat yourself up over him, so get over yourself, and start acting like normal person!"

_Where do we go when we just don't know  
And how do we relight the flame when its cold  
Why do we dream when I thought mean nothing  
And when will we learn to control  
_

My eyes widen at the forcefulness in his voice, but I pull his hand away and say, "That's just it. I'm not a normal person. I'm just the soul of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh with a guilty conscience."

As I head out the door, I see Tristan starting to get up, but Duke puts a hand on his shoulder, saying,

"Let him go, he just needs a little time to himself."

_Where do we go when we just don't know  
And how do we relight the flame when its cold  
Why do we dream when I thought mean nothing  
And when will we learn to control  
_

Outside, I walk over to the edge of the trailer and lean against its cold metal side.

I stand there, watching the sky as it changes from a gentle blue to a fierce mix of yellow, red, orange, and purple. Yugi loved watching sunsets . . . I just wish he was here with me now . . . but he's not . . . and I'm the one to blame . . .

_I need serenity _

_I need serenity_

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So . . . how was that? A little messed up, I know, but I really wanted to do an angsty fic from Yami's POV during these recent events.

So please read and review, and if I get any flames/negative reviews, I'll just forward them to Dartz and his evil cronies.

(Smirks evilly)


End file.
